You know you’re a real lifter if/when…
The Most Hilarious post of 2008
by Jay
-A 16 oz steak is an appetizer
-You have to buy your pants a size bigger to accommodate your legs and ass from squatting
-You have to side-step through a door
-You constantly switch hands when you’re on the phone because your arms start cramping
-You consider a XL shirt to be a child’s size
-Your chest circumference is the same as your height
-Your forearm is bigger than the average bicep size (and for those who don’t know, the average bicep size in males is 13 inches)
-You are automatically made security at house parties
-Females ask if you could bench them
-Yeople constantly ask you “Do you workout?”
-You can't reach around to wipe your ass because your back is too wide
-You have a itch on your back and you can't reach it
-You get arrested by the police and they have to use 2 pairs of hand cuffs to secure your hands behind your back
-People automatically assume you're on steroids when you know you’re not
-You are no longer referred by your first name but instead by "beast", "big man", “diesel”, “big swole”, or "monster"
-You can't sit comfortably in a chair because your back is too wide
-You hide your lifting magazines under a stack of men’s interest magazines (such as Playboy, FHM, Stuff, Maxim, etc…) so your non-lifting friends don’t think you’re gay
-You think about working out more than your girlfriend or significant other
-You buy enough food to feed a small country but it only lasts you 2 weeks
-Someone asks what day of the week it is, and you reply "leg day"
-Buffet restaurants lock their doors when they see you pull up
-Someone asks you what your favorite movie is and you say the name of some weightlifting- related movie or documentary
-You have counted reps while masturbating
-You carry a bucket to the gym on leg day in case you throw up
-You think "tone" is strictly for singers and musicians and “definition” is only for dictionaries
-(For bodybuilders) you measure a year in seasons: bulking, cutting, pre-contest, and after party
-While you are working out, people ask you how much you are lifting. You tell them and they are amazed, but you just say “That’s not a lot. I still have 2 more warm-up sets.”
-Girls are begging you to go out with them so they can flaunt you around like arm candy
-You can cook better than your girlfriend/wife/significant other
-Every girl you try to date can’t comprehend what you’re committed to
-People feel the need to tell you how much they used to lift upon meeting you
-You join a new gym and only after a month, everyone knows who you are by name and yet still you have trouble remembering the names of people who have members there for years
-Every bill you have is overdue, but you ALWAYS pay your gym fees on time
-Someone says “6-pack” and you think of abs instead of beer/soda
-You get “excited” at the sight and sound of iron clinking together (hint hint)
-You accidentally break gym equipment due to you not knowing what your real strength is
-By 11am, you are on your 3rd meal of the day
-People start trying to flex what little muscle they have when you walk into a room
-People assume you only have a 5th grade education and start talking to you in extremely simple Terms when in all actuality, you could teach them a thing or two
-No one is able to buy clothes for you because you are always changing size
-People swear you are related to either Hercules or Superman
-You don’t use those pathetic metaphors to describe the size of your muscles
-You think being hardcore and aggressive is cool
-You use a base-90 system (think about it…)
-You start collecting things such as protein shakers, weight belts, lifting gloves, etc…
-No matter what you wear or what you do, you have the hardest time hiding your true size
-Tasks that usually take multiple people (such as moving something) you can do alone or with another big dawg
-You don’t have to constantly tell people you lift weights
-People stop doing what they are doing just to watch you work out
-You are sitting there laughing your ass off because you know all of this is true
...Talk and Discuss but be warned…No BS..
